From a retired cemetery sexton
The Cemetery Manual: What It Really Costs
What happens after the funeral. Plots, vaults, opening and closing fees, headstones, perpetual care, and what you can refuse before you sign the deed.
$49$29Launch price
first 100 copies
276 pages. Instant PDF download. Printable worksheets and scripts. 7-day money-back guarantee.
A look inside
See how the book looks on the page
Plain language, short sections, and printable pages you can take to the cemetery office. These are real pages from the book.
Swipe or scroll sideways · tap a page to enlarge
The numbers
What the cemetery side can cost
Prices vary a great deal by cemetery and by state, and these national figures are from 2020. This book shows you how to get the real prices for your cemetery, in writing. It's $29 for the first 100 copies, instead of $49.
Most families meet the cemetery in the first day or two after a death, with no idea what they'll be asked to buy. They're tired, they're grieving, and nobody has explained what is required, what is a choice, and what the bill will really be.
That isn't anyone's fault. Most cemetery staff are decent people doing a hard job, and families rarely know what to ask. This book is what I'd tell you if you sat in my office the day before you signed.
The book
276 pages. Everything I'd tell you before you sign.
This is a plain-spoken guide to the cemetery side of a death: who owns the ground, what you are actually buying, what each line on the bill is for, what is a law and what is only the cemetery's rule, and the exact questions to ask. My line is simple: the funeral home is the mortician's side of the door. Mine starts at the gate.
There are 46 short chapters in eleven parts, plus ten printable tools. Read it in order, or open it to the part you need this week.
What the paperwork says. The contract, the rule or the form, in plain English.
What the crew sees. What actually happens on the ground, explained by the man who did the work for forty-three years.
What it costs your family. Only sourced figures. Where prices vary, I tell you how to get the real one.
What to ask before you sign. The exact questions, and the words to use. Everything is general information, not legal or financial advice.
What the sources say
Four things most families are never told
When you buy a grave, you buy the right to be buried in a particular space, not a piece of property. The cemetery's rules come with it.
Funeral Consumers Alliance, Guide to Cemetery PurchasesThe FTC Funeral Rule does not cover cemeteries that lack an on-site funeral home, or casket and monument dealers.
Federal Trade Commission, The FTC Funeral RuleUnlike funeral homes, cemeteries are not required by law to give you a printed price list, a national consumer group says. Some states differ. Ask for one anyway.
Funeral Consumers Alliance, 2020At VA national cemeteries, the gravesite, opening and closing, perpetual care and a government headstone are no-cost benefits for eligible veterans.
U.S. Department of Veterans AffairsEvery chapter ends with its sources. Rules vary by state and by cemetery, so the book also shows you who to ask where you live.
What's inside
Eleven parts, and ten tools to take with you
At the Gate
The first call, who owns the ground, who regulates it, and how to tell a requirement from a choice.
5 chaptersBuying Ground
What a plot really is, single and double spaces, choosing a section, reading the contract.
5 chaptersThe Bill, Line by Line
Opening and closing, weekend fees, winter and rock, two bills, and a sample bill explained.
6 chaptersVaults, Liners and Crypts
Why a vault is asked for, what the law says, buying elsewhere, mausoleums and niches.
4 chaptersHeadstones and Markers
Choosing a stone, buying outside the cemetery, the rulebook, lettering, and waiting until you can afford one.
5 chaptersPerpetual Care
What the fee is, who holds the fund, and what to do when a cemetery is neglected.
3 chaptersCremation at the Cemetery
Urn graves, niches, scattering rules, and the fees nobody lists.
3 chaptersMoney You May Be Owed
Veterans' benefits, Social Security's one-time payment, and where else to ask.
3 chaptersPre-Need and Plots You Own
What to sign and avoid, transfers and refunds, old deeds, selling a plot, inherited spaces.
5 chaptersMoving a Grave, and After
Permits and consent, family disagreements, settling and leaning stones, visiting.
4 chaptersThe Family Plan
A one-page plan, what to say to your family, and a last word.
3 chaptersTools
Worksheets, scripts, a bill checker, a plan template and a glossary. Print what you need.
10 printable toolsScripts, word for word
Exact lines for the phone and the desk: "Is that a state law, or a cemetery rule?" and what to say when you're being rushed.
A comparison sheet and a bill checker
Compare cemeteries fairly, and check every line of a bill: what it is, who provides it, and whether it's required.
A one-page family plan
Where the deed is, who decides, what you want. The best protection in the book, and it costs nothing.
At the desk
Exact words to use when you don't know what to ask
Six of the lines from the script cards. Say them kindly. You're not accusing anyone, you're asking what you're entitled to ask.
To get started
Could you send me your printed price list and your rules and regulations?
Ask before you decide anything.When you hear “you have to”
Is that a state law, or a cemetery rule? Where is it written?
The most useful question in the book.To check the bill
Is there anything on the final bill that isn't on this price list?
Get the answer in writing.To buy elsewhere
If I buy a vault or a marker somewhere else, will you accept it? Is there any fee?
Ask before you order.When you need time
I'd like to take this home and read it. I'll call you tomorrow.
You don't have to sign today.When you're being rushed
Can you put that in writing, with the date it's good until?
Ordinary graves don't vanish overnight.$49$29Launch price
first 100 copies
276 pages · Instant download · 7-day money-back guarantee
About the author
Virgil Hatch
Virgil spent forty-three years at one cemetery in western Pennsylvania. He started at nineteen with a shovel and finished as sexton. He dug the graves, set the vaults, opened the crypts and signed the permits.
“The funeral's an afternoon. The grave is a hundred years.”
Virgil is not a lawyer, funeral director or financial adviser, and this book gives general information, not legal or financial advice. On YouTube, he talks about what happens after the funeral. Watch the channel →
Get the book
The complete manual, ready tonight
- The Cemetery Manual. 276 pages, 46 chapters in eleven parts, A4 PDF.
- Ten printable tools. A comparison worksheet, a bill checker, a question list, script cards, a plan template and more.
- Word-for-word scripts for the phone, the desk and email.
- An "Ask in writing" box in every chapter, with the exact questions to ask.
- Sources listed at the end of every chapter.
- Secure checkout
- Instant download
- 7-day guarantee
7-Day Money-Back Guarantee
If the book isn't what you hoped for, reply to your receipt within 7 days and you'll be refunded.
Questions
Frequently asked
How many pages is it?
276 pages: 46 chapters in eleven parts, plus ten printable tools. It's an A4 PDF that reads well on a phone, a tablet or a computer.
Is this legal or financial advice?
No. Virgil is not a lawyer, funeral director or financial adviser. The book gives general information and tells you what to ask, in writing, and when to check with your state regulator or an attorney.
Does it cover my state?
It covers what applies across the country, and it shows you how to find your own state's rules. Cemetery rules differ by state, so the book does not claim to summarize all fifty. It gives verified examples from several states and tells you who to ask.
Someone just died. Is it too late?
No. Start with Part One and Part Three, and use the question list and scripts. You can take the contract home before you sign.
Nobody in my family has died. Why now?
Because the questions are far easier to ask before a death. Parts Nine and Eleven cover plots you already own, pre-need contracts and a one-page family plan.
How is it different from free information online?
It puts the cemetery side in one place, in plain words: what each charge is, which things are law and which are the cemetery's rule, and the exact words to use. Every chapter lists its sources.
Is this book against cemeteries?
No. Most cemetery staff are decent people doing a hard job. The book is against being surprised. It helps you ask good questions politely.
Is this a printed book?
No. It's a digital PDF with instant download. The tools are on plain pages so you can print just the ones you want.
Are the stories real?
The stories are illustrative composites. Names and details are changed, and they are not accounts of real, identifiable families.
What if it's not for me?
Every purchase has a 7-day money-back guarantee. Reply to your receipt within 7 days and you'll be refunded.
Don't sign what you haven't read
Know what's required, what's a choice, and what it will cost, before you walk into the office. Read this first.
$49$29Launch price
first 100 copies
276 pages · Instant download · 7-day guarantee